I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
