Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My day in three words: secret purse cake
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
