Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
