these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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