i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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