Sry I called you an 8
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
