haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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