We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
