Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
