He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
