I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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