Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
