The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize