This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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