Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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