Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
