So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
