he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
