If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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