U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
from now on my penis is your penis
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just forgot I was standing up.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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