would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
