I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
