The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
