Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
