well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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