You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
