I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
