You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
