My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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