I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize