you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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