better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
