So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize