So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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