The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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