I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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