with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
