Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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