You work out of a Hotel?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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