hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
