Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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