He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
