I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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