Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
