By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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