i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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