yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
