i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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