im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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