so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm just crazy horny about you
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
