I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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