i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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