think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
