I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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