Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
