Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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