Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
