Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
