he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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