Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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