It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
