Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
