I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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