Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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